Friday, October 28, 2011

Born To Sleep

I was thinking of cashing in on all this minimalist crap. How to begin
you ask? Well, first you must think outside the box and ask yourself what
else did cavemen do besides walk around barefoot? Answer:  A whole lot.
So, with that information I can write a series of "Born To" books. My first will
be “Born To Sleep.”  Think about it.

Actually, the idea came to me as my four year old pillow top bed started
to cave in the center leaving me with lower back pain in the
morning and aggravating my already bum leg. Since I couldn't (and
still can't) shell out a grand and change for a new bed that is much
firmer, I opted to take the minimal route. I put down my vibram mattress  (A.K.A. a
yoga mat)  and set out for a good nights’ sleep and that bare back

I have to admit the first couple of nights were shaky, but my back and
leg weren't hurting so I stayed with it. Then at work I thought of all
the minimalist hypocrites buying vibrams and complaining about
racing flats having too much heel and so on, as if wearing the silly
toe shoes were going to instantly label them authentic runners. When a newbie
runner asks me about vibrams, I ask them right back if he or she
would sleep without a mattress or pillow because I'm sure there are
tons of people online who would promote the benefit of doing so.  That
pretty much  puts things in perspective and gives them a laugh.

Save money on that chiropractor, forget back surgery and tell your
physical therapist to jump out a window, because you were born to
sleep without a bed, mattress, pillow, blanket…and outside in all variations
of weather. It’s totally natural and don't let anyone tell you

What’s next? Write a book, of course. I'll call it "Born to Sleep" and I can cash in. I'll
give the same line that “Born to Run” uses,  we weren't born with mattresses and comfy
beds and pillows. In fact we are the only primate to actually do this sort of thing. What I
suggest is give up your bed, pillow, blanket and go minimal. You'll love the way the ground feels.

How silly are we listening to those robber barons at department stores and mattress and bedding retail
shops.  What a complete waste of money. Then I'll reference a bunch of people who would agree with
It will make perfect sense. Then I'll transform my yoga mat into a minimalist bed by putting
a vibram tag on it for street cred with the barefoot crowd.

After this occurs, I will make a whole series of “Born To ...” books.  My follow-
up will be called "Born To Bone"  and this will be a book on having sex the
natural way. After I give all the data on how men are meant to spread
their seeds and  how much better it is for Mr. Happy to go raw dog (and
I'm sure there is data on it), imagine how guys will eat this up
and then spit out to data to potential sex partners. Sure, some people
will get hurt or pregnant but this is what we were born to do and isn't
that the most important lesson?

Monday, October 24, 2011

The simple life I'm taking a break from life and the grind and replaced it
with a new kind of grind. One that is less demanding in an environment which I can

So, after "fun-employment" ran out and realizing that being a personal
trainer meant still being a sales person, but now I was liable for the
well-being of unmotivated masses that were only interested in getting
thin rather than working out, I decided to take a job that was
offered to me in a yoga studio. Around the same time I also took a job in a running store
selling running shoes. Now, these may not seem like glamourous jobs to most
people but they are my two passions in life right now, running and
Yoga, and it only makes sense that I want to be closer to them any way possible, 
even if it means taking an enormous pay cut.

I often wonder how many people are judging me when they see me selling
running shoes or wonder why I'm not the yoga instructor but rather
the person behind the desk signing in their names. It doesn't really
matter to me and I don't care so much. I like what I do right now and the
people I surround myself with are spiritually beautiful. I used to
spend most of my working days stressed out and depressed and now the
only things that seem to bum me out are my running injuries.  Yes, they
are still here with me and they get in the way of both yoga and

Not to go on and whine about this and that but I really thought I
would but done with this piriformis syndrome by now. I have signed up
for three fall marathons hoping for the come back of Ultra Mega Mark (my
former myspace tag, in honor of my ultra races and a Soundgarden
album.) Everything seems to be going wonky now, even my foot pain from
last year has returned. And then the last knees. My Knees?
WTF?? Isn't that the excuse for every non-runner out there? Thankfully
I have resolved the knee issue with the use of a DVD from Phil Wharton - I won't go into what they do but
all I can say is that it works as a warm-up and a stretch. Phil has worked with
Olympic athletes for over 25 years. I'm sure this will aid in my recovery from my 
other injuries too once I stop running for a couple of months and give my body a break.

In the meantime I've just run the Steamtown marathon in Scranton, PA
in over 4hrs (4:28.) I said it was going to be a long slow run for me
and not a race but I have to tell you it sucks coming in and seeing
the clock at 4:30, especially when I would get upset over coming in at
3:45 in the past. But I'm putting my ego to the side for now. I'll run the New
York Marathon next week and probably do worse since the course is much
harder. But I will take a page from last year and remember to be in
the moment and enjoy the experience. Because in the end that is what it's
all about.

My last adventure this year will be in Las Vegas. This would be a lot
more fun if I was fit. I hear the course is nice and it starts at 4:00pm
which makes sleeping a lot easier. I may switch and do the half marathon
instead but we shall wait 'til after the NYC Marathon to make that decision.

Until my next post, adios!  Good luck to all the runners out there. Do
your best but more importantly, enjoy the process and remember you're
only running this because you want to. Peace.